Advice in the Mess, Post 1

I thought I’d be the cool parent.

You know — the one with the perfect balance of patience and humor. Calm during meltdowns. Consistent with routines. Never raising her voice. Always knowing what to say.

Instead? I’ve cried in the pantry more than once. I’ve whispered “I’m so tired” into the dark after everyone’s asleep. I’ve lost my temper, felt the crushing guilt afterward, and questioned whether I’m messing this whole thing up.

This?
This is not what I expected.

But here’s the truth no one tells you loud enough:

The mess isn’t proof you’re failing.
It’s proof you’re in it. Fully. Honestly. Wholeheartedly.

Because raising humans is soul work. And soul work is messy.

It’s holding a screaming toddler with one hand while stirring spaghetti with the other.
It’s negotiating curfew with a teenager who suddenly hates everything you say.
It’s apologizing to your kid even when you swore you’d never lose it again.
It’s crying in your car, then walking back in because you still have to parent.

Raising kids isn’t about mastering every moment.
It’s about showing up — even when you feel like a mess yourself.

And you know what? That’s what makes you amazing. Not perfect. Not Pinterest-worthy. Just… present. And that’s the most powerful kind of parenting there is.

So if you’ve ever wondered, “Am I the only one struggling like this?” — you’re not.
If you’ve ever felt like the mess is too much — it’s not.

This space is for the parents hiding in bathrooms and coming back out anyway.
For the moms and dads carrying guilt but still trying.
For anyone who’s ever thought, “I can’t do this” — but did it anyway.

Welcome to the mess.
Welcome to something real.
Stick around — the next post might just feel like it was written for you.

Next post: #2 Teenagers and the eye rolls