Uniquely Mixed

The Day My Teen Called Me Out—And She Was Right

Advice in the Mess – Post 5

I didn’t expect to be called out by a teenager—my teenager.
But I should’ve. Because I raised her to be honest, and she gave me exactly that.

She looked at me with all the bluntness I love about her. She said,
“You say you care. You don’t even listen to me when I talk.”

And I froze.

My first instinct? Snap back. Defend myself. Say something like, “Do you even realize how much I do for you?” But deep down, I knew she was right. I hadn’t been listening—really listening. Not with presence. Not with the respect I expect from her. And definitely not in a way that made her feel seen.

I Love Honesty… Until It’s Aimed at Me

I’m a straight-shooter. Always have been. I don’t like games, I don’t like guessing, and I don’t sugarcoat. If there’s something off, I’m going to call it out.

But what I’m learning is… that’s not how everyone works. Especially teens.

They feel everything—loud and quiet, fast and slow. They might not say what they’re feeling right away, but when they do, it’s not always clean and polite. It’s raw. It’s real. And sometimes, it stings.

That day, her words hit a nerve—not because she was disrespectful, but because she was being honest. And I value that more than anything.

Feelings Aren’t the Problem. Silence Is.

Here’s what I’ve come to understand:
Feelings are valid. But they’re not an excuse to shut down.

You feel hurt? Say something.
You feel misunderstood? Tell me why.

Because if we don’t talk about why we feel the way we do, nothing changes. And we can’t learn how to love each other better.

That’s the kind of family I want. One that’s not afraid to speak truth and work through it—even when it’s uncomfortable.

Different Styles, Same Goal

When I told my husband what she said, he raised an eyebrow and said,

“That’s why I don’t let the kids talk to me like that. We’re their parents, not their friends.”

And listen—I get it. He’s protective. He believes in structure, respect, and firm boundaries. That’s his lane, and he’s solid in it.

But I live in a different lane. I believe in truth with connection.
I don’t want to be just a mom who corrects. I want to be the one my kids come to when life’s heavy and confusing. Even when I get it wrong (and I do), I want them to know they can tell me.

We don’t always parent the same, but we both want the same thing: strong, confident kids who know they’re loved.

When Criticism Builds Bridges

That moment with my daughter could’ve gone two ways.

I could’ve shut her down and told her to “watch her tone.”
Or I could do what I did—take a breath, and say:
“You’re right. I wasn’t listening the way you needed. I’ll do better.”

That one sentence changed the whole vibe.

When teens feel heard, walls come down. They stop yelling, stop slamming doors, and start trusting. Not because we agreed—but because I was willing to own what was true.

Real Talk from the Middle of the Mess

Look, parenting a teenager will humble you.
It’ll stretch your patience, test your pride, and show you just how much growing you still have to do.

But if you can take the hit… the honesty… the unexpected mirror moment…
You’ll start to build something real. Not just a relationship based on rules—but one built on respect.

So if your teen ever calls you out, don’t panic. Don’t overreact.
Listen. Lean in. Ask questions.

Let it shape you. Let it strengthen your connection.

And remember: being called out doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent.
It means you’re raising someone who sees clearly—and trusts you enough to say it out loud.

💬 Missed a Messy Moment? Catch Up Here:

If this one hit you in the gut (like it did me), you’re not alone.
Parenting is full of these “did that really just happen?” moments—and that’s exactly why I started this series. If you missed the earlier blogs, they’re all waiting for you:

Each post is a snapshot of my journey through the chaos and love of raising kids. These kids speak their minds and grow my heart with every lesson they teach me.

Don’t Miss the Grand Finale…

We’re wrapping up the Advice in the Mess series next week with something special:
“I’m Not Raising Kids—I’m Raising Adults.”

📬 Make sure you’re subscribed or following me on Instagram @sweetkeet21 so you don’t miss it.

Let’s keep growing through the mess—together. 🖤

We have made it to our last post- #6 Raising adults

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    Discipline or Connection? – Uniquely Mixed

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